Well first up, no two carers roles are alike and the public perception of those carers is one of young school children and pensioners, I for one am one of the silent minority IE: Male and middle aged, I came into the caring role some years ago, after my wife’s medical condition deteriorated. Her needs are complex and changeable and as a result my duties frequently change. Due to her pain level’s it is impossible to leave my wife for more than a few hours and respite care is not practical as we cannot guarantee when we would need the help.
Male carers of a certain age have a large amount of guilt for various reasons including in my case the fact that I feel I should be providing for my family, that is of course impossible for many carers. This guilt may be in part due to many people although polite look down on men in the caring role who don’t “Work” so I have spent a great deal of time trying to find an outlet for my need to provide and vent my frustration. To that end I have embraced woodworking and I have been fortunate in receiving support from the Leonardo Trust right here in Dorset to which a carer can apply once a year for help towards a hobby or outlet which is unrelated to their caring role.
Don’t misunderstand me it has taken 3yrs to obtain a basic woodworking kit but I seem to have developed a basic skill which I hope in due course will allow to me provide a income for my family.
Well the 1st bed is taking shape nicely, still needs treating though. I’m hoping to have the 2nd bed done by the end of the week. Meanwhile Sue’s low mood continues, we are hoping that the appointment with mental health services will offer some way forward
Well after a long and protracted battle I have managed to raise some funds via crownfunding to create a disabled friendly garden for Sue. Because of the limited budget we have agreed to make the beds from pallets.
The pallets are here and I have started the process of making the beds. It’s not a prefect process by any means but when finished along with level walk ways it should help to create a slightly better outlook for Sue.
Well, we took at trip to Princess Ann Hospital for Sue’s appointment and she has been discharged and referred back to DCH. However her condition means she can no be operated on as the risk is too great. It appears that any ideas that Sue has with relation to physical exercise is wrought with potential problems.
On a positive note Sue joined Slimming World last night and she wants to lose 3 or 4st, watch this space for news on that!
On a personal level I have created another WordPress page called (Practical Carer) with the aim of carers giving practical advice to other carers rather than the usual woe is me mindset which is often seen all over social media.
If your interested or you want to help please feel free to message for details.
For those that don’t know I’m a full time carer to my wife, she’s 42 and has had a complex medical history.
Most days are made up of managing her pain levels and trying to keep her level, now you may think she is like many others and to a certain extent that may be true, however her condition has never been cureable and some days her pain levels are so bad she looks like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.
The point I’m getting too is that so many people complain that they have chronic pain, but from what I see you have no idea of what pain is.